if you're like me you *never* believe what you read in beauty magazines. OK, OK, you got me...there was that one time - you know that month where the mags were running that amazing headline: "Lose 20lbs. In 30 Days On the Ice Cream Diet"...yeah, I know you fell for it too. I mean, who could resist being told it was OK to eat ice cream and everyday??? Did I really think eating Ben & Jerry's Oatmeal Cookie Chunk all day, every day for a month would not *add* 20?!? No! How foolish do you think I am? (That's a strictly a rhetorical question --- please don't answer that last question....I know just how foolish I can be, thank you very much.) Who wouldn't get sucked in by the green-light to inhale large amounts of ice cold sweet creamy delight laced with hints of cinnamon and vanilla? Again, don't answer. ;)
Back to the point I was trying to make.....yeah, so, I never believe the beauty mags but one item/review did get my attention....Allure magazine had given an eye cream from Avon the equivalent to the old school Siskel & Ebert "2 thumbs up". As I read the review I sat and laughed, all jaded and remarking to myself about how ridiculous the outlandish claims of "plastic surgery in a jar" were...talk about pie in the sky!
Not only am I not one to believe the mags but I am also not one to doctor my photos...this is what I look like, like or not....my dues are paid in full and up to date for every little line and flaw I have on my face and elsewhere...these were hard earned and I'll be damned if I am going to erase them by way of computer. Besides, imagine the horror, shock and surprise of doctoring your photos up only to finally meet someone who only knows you by way of photo and they have no idea who you are b/c you look nothing like your photo??? That's more embarrassing than looking like a few flocks of crows have landed on my eye area as if we were shooting a remake of Hitchcock's "The Birds"! I don't want to be that girl...I am not that girl. Well, maybe that was until I read this Allure prize-winning product review.
Never one to fret about the lines appearing on my face, somehow the subliminal beauty powers that be had gotten to me...somewhere lurking in my subconscious the Eye Cream Gods were luring me into their web of deceit and lies thru advertising. Yes, I do use an eye cream as part of my daily moisturizing rituals (I am not that hardcore to go without moisturizer!)...after a free gift with purchase from Clinique I decided to try the sample of their Repairware Intensive Eye Cream.
Sounds good. Sounds serious. Sounds like it will be intensely moisturizing, right? Wrong. Dead wrong. This was the opposite of everything the product name states with the exception of the "intensive". Oh, it was intensive alright, intensive DRYING....oh, and did I mention burning? It would not surprise me in the least to find this was a little vat of battery acid hidden in a moisturizer look-a-like! Within a week my eyes were dehydrated and had the appearance of the salt flats....totally dry and tight...so tight the skin from my under eyes were pulling and wrinkling the skin on my cheekbones.....imagine your eyes looking comparable to this photo (minus that stunning blue):
...and, all the while you were trying to moisturize!?!?!? WTH????
Enter, Allure & Avon with the claims of "plastic surgery in a jar"...now, if ever was the time I *needed* an eye intervention and QUICK! Ding Dong! Avon calling! Fast forward a week and a speedy delivery by my trusty Avon lady and I receive this little tub of gel and cream.
Everyone, this is Avon Anew Clinical Eye Lift. Avon Anew Clinical Eye Lift,this is everyone. I am sure you will all make quick friends.
This $28 gel/cream combo has been gracing my eyes twice daily for 2 weeks and all I can say is "Wow!". They weren't kidding when they said this stuff works....if I weren't using it myself I would swear I was lying about the potency of this little powerhouse....the first 5 days or so I could actually feel it lifting my upper lids - sort of felt like I had some scotch tape pulling the upper and lower lids to smooth them out ....that feeling has subsided but the effect has not.....for once the beauty editors weren't pulling our leg! Even the color of my eye area has subtly changed and I didn't even know I had a problem with discoloration around the eye! I want to see a review of this product simply stating "The shit works." Because it does.
Now I need to take my 37 year old eyes that now look 35 for a quick shower and reapplication of my holy grail eye product & upload my layouts for the June 2008 issue of Digital Artist Magazine.
Happy Friday people.
